Tuesday, July 26, 2011

*** My Secret Addiction... COUPONS... A Tell All Expose!!! ***

Yesterday I did not have a very good day so to I decided I needed a little pick-me-up.  You know, a fix, I was having a craving and only one thing could cure it... SHOPPING!!  I often wonder if I am the only couponer who will take a trip to the store on the fly, totally unplanned, and scour the aisles to see how much stuff I can get for free just to get a rush (crackheads should try this... it's a lot cheaper than crack and better for your health).  Sure there are the planned trips with the maticulous lists when you know exactly to the penny how much you will spend OOP (out of pocket)... but there is something so exciting about venturing into the unknown and finding those unexpected deals and it feels so defiant like you are breaking some sort of unwritten rules of couponing that by the time you are walking out of the store with all of your free or almost free loot you are on some sort of inexplicable high!  It's like you are stealing but it's legal!  You feel like you have just robbed the store yet in reality you are just another soccer mom with a not-so-dirty little secret... you are addicted... to COUPONS! 

In search of a much needed coupon induced buzz I decided to go to Kroger.  So armed with my deadly substance of choice (my CUT IT OUT Coupon Organizer...I never leave home without it... who needs an Am Ex card or drugs when you have coupons) I began my covert operation.  Sure, when people see me coming with my 3" CIOCO that is bulging at the seams full of my spending $ (aka coupons) sometimes they stare, sometimes they look away and sometimes their own curiosity gets the best of them and they will strike up a conversation in hopes that you will divulge all of your secrets in 90 seconds or less.  Somedays I love to talk about couponing and brag about my hauls but this wasn't the day... I was on a mission!  Brad Pitt could have tried to strike up a conversation with me and unless the topic of conversation was what aisle had free stuff in it I would've told that pretty boy to beat it.  So I went aisle by aisle, searching the shelves for the elusive deal that no one else had yet come across.  When I am in this frame of mind I have no time to waste searching for coupons when I find a deal... I need that coupon and I need it now... otherwise it ruins the mood and kills the buzz!  The beauty of my CIOCO is that you have all of your coupons categorized by section and then alphabetized by product so if you find something in the clearance aisle you always have your coupon with you and you can find that exact coupon within a matter of seconds and move on to the next aisle for the next deal/near-crack experience!!!  As always I found enough free items to satisfy my craving for the time being (3 bottles of Ivory body wash, 3 pkgs Carefree pantiliners, 3 tubes of Crest toothpaste, 1 pack of Poise liners, 6 Oral-B indicator toothbrushes, 6 3-Musketeer bars and 6 pkgs of M & Ms)... not my best haul since Kroger has changed their coupon policy & you can only use 3 of the same coupons in 1 day... but it hit the spot!  

The next order of business was to find a cashier... you know the drill... if a person looks like they have worked there for more than 2 weeks just keep going... I always find that if the cashier is looking at their watch that is the line you want to be in... they are counting the minutes until they get to leave (try to time it so you are checking out 15 minutes before they change shifts)... they won't argue with you over coupons, prices, or policies because they just want to get the hell out of there (please don't take this to mean I condone coupon fraud because I do not... please use your coupons responsibly!).  

Next comes the anticipation of the grand total after discounts and coupons... it is exhilarating to see the total drop from $53.79 to $3.53!  Now you slide your credit card through the machine as you exhale... YOU DID IT!!!!  You have your fix... now it's time to go home and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that can almost be confused with intoxication.  And if after a few days you start feeling down in the dumps again... don't reach for drugs or alcohol... reach for your CUT IT OUT Coupon Organizer and head to the nearest store and take them to the cleaners!!!!!!  You will be fine in no time!  Tell them Tina sent you:) 



  1. New to couponing and still trying to learn so I can get out there and shop! This was a great read and funi! Thanks for some more insight into the couponing world! Mara

  2. I loved it.... sounds so much like me got to get that fix.